At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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