The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
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