Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
