i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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