He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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