Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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