This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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