it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize