ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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