my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
