My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize