She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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