I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
