He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize