things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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