So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
