why didn't you poke me back
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
