So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
someone owes me an orgasm
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize