There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My breasts were aching with rage.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize