I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
