Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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