it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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