i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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