dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We need a shit load of segways right now
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
