i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
