She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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