we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
