I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
