I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
