I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
