I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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