): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
