Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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