yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
