You don't have asthma, your pregnant
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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