found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize