You're completely useless in the revolution.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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