I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
