I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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