Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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