:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
