I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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