i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Is Oprah even human
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
