I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize