he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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