I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
