We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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