Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize