I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She said her name was "party"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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