I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
