If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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