Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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