anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
