One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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