reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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