She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
