i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
