oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
