And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
