the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
