I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
