Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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