that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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