plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
