so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
