I'm eating all of the evidence.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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